Sometimes, I hate hate hate talking to you about anything
You always always take the magic out of everything.

You wonder why I feel so alone all the time,
But it's because I have no one to talk to about these things
My friends are all too busy with their own lives
And I can't bear to lose sight of the magic I've finally managed to find again.

Still insanely afraid of making mistakes,
Anxious about making the wrong decision...
With almost everything in my life

Big or small
Important or mundane
I still worry...

How do I get out of this?
How do I stop?
I need a way to calm my mind.

I'm starting to see Everything as pathetic,
Because I'm so afraid,
Thinking I have to push you away...

I'm beginning not to like who I am when I'm with you because I feel like I'm not being strong enough.
But isn't it good to feel like I'd be ok when i'm with you?
I don't know.

Perhaps this is me warning myself against what I know will turn out wrong ( Read more... )

I have to forget my past
Stop finding similarities of my history
With what is happening now
Stop being so afraid
of the potential repetition of being torn apart

I've got to try not to associate you
with what I've been through
Not think if you according to my history
I won't let it hinder me
from finally finding something good

It's ok, I can let you go.
I don't need u
I don't need anyone...

I had just really hoped
That you could be my game changer
The person who'd be my friend
Till the end

I only wish
This didn't make trusting others
Any harder than it already is
But it does

It does.

I HATE fixing things.... Oh wait, If I didn't fuck things up so often, I wouldn't have to.

Missing you...; But because i miss YOU, or just miss having someone here to mope to?

I just read over some stuff i wrote a couple years ago ( Read more... )

SOMEONE ONCE WROTE:
"It’s easy to be loved when they want you, when they’re craving what you, as a girlfriend, a lover, can give them; but to be loved when you have nothing to offer….
For that second you are important and treasured. Your existence is validated.
 It’s an incredible feeling, being loved. Even if it’s only for a moment."

AND this is ( Read more... )

Its all the greatest minds that lives a tortured life.
But if they were so intelligent, why couldnt they think of all the positive things, and look at every aspect in a positive light? Is it that this world is just so full of darkness that it is only fools who sees the rainbows?

So trapped in this loneliness... It's like, you cant breathe. You're ( Read more... )